


orange menace

by poetdameron



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: (kinda), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Fluff, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Prompt Fill, meet cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-10-04 05:04:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20465468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poetdameron/pseuds/poetdameron
Summary: The orange menace would appear on the balcony at 4 PM every day without fail. Always looking at Ryan, trying to mess with his head.Or, a cat keeps getting into Ryan's apartment and his neighbor is hot.





	orange menace

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LexTheMoose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LexTheMoose/gifts).

> Little thing I did for a prompt around a month ago, now beta-ed and with additional dialogue (lol).
> 
> This fic was edited by the amazing [Emilie](https://notascaredycat.tumblr.com/), thanks a lot for your help and for the suggestions! 
> 
> Now, If you have a tumblr and you liked this fic, please support me by reblogging the [original post](https://wetooanoath.tumblr.com/post/185553383942/a-scenerio-that-popped-into-my-head-they-are)!

**Orange Menace**

The orange menace would appear on the balcony at 4 PM every day without fail. Always looking at Ryan, trying to mess with his head.

If he didn’t know better, Ryan would think the cat could read his mind and appear when he least needed him to. The cat had even learned how to open the sliding door of his balcony, so sometimes he would find it nesting in the kitchen sink which was very inconvenient when Ryan had people over or wasn’t ready for allergic reactions.

Regardless, the animal kept coming back and Ryan kept wondering  _ why, why him? _

This time the cat was asleep on his goddamn bed, and Ryan was tired, so tired and so drunk. 

“Fuck it.” 

“Mrrrp”, the cat replied, before blinking at him and curling up into a ball.

All he could do was get himself on the other side of the bed to fall asleep with the orange cat purring at his back.

* * *

Someone was knocking in his head.

Three soft knocks and a pause,followed by another three knocks. Ryan frowned, that was not possible -- someone knocking at his head? What…? Right. The door.

“No... go away...”

He tried his best to ignore the noise, turning on his side facing the window, when he felt something both sharp and fuzzy pawing at his forehead. Still refusing to open his eyes, he brought up a hand to feel around and noticed something fluffy and very much alive resting gently over his head.

Ryan was about to scream  ** _demon _ ** when a loud purr distracted him enough to suddenly remember last night, he opened his eyes slowly.

The cat was sleeping on his head.

Sighing, Ryan moved to rest on his back, when the knocking on his door started up again. This time louder and fuck-- a quick glance to his alarm clock on the night stand told him it was three fuck-off in the morning. The knocking didn’t seem to bother the cat, who was still purring as it pawed gently on top of his head, like it was trying to style his hair.

Ryan frowned, not sure of what was weirder: the orange cat on his head or the person banging on his door at 3 AM.

Maybe he’d get killed, but with all the effort a hungover guy could muster, Ryan got out of bed and went to open the door.

* * *

Tall Hot And Unbothered was at his door, looking like death. 

His red nose and watery eyes made Ryan swallow and look back into his apartment to see if there were any cameras or a unicorn around, because this couldn’t be real. It had to be a dream or some sort of prank.

Ryan was confused, but the frantic look in his neighbor’s face made Ryan try to smile and the man looked at him with something akin to hope and his heart started to beat faster.

“Hey…”

“Hi, hello.” He said, voice deep yet tiny, like if he had been crying for far too long. “I’m sorry, I know It’s super late--”

“Dude, are you okay?” Ryan frowned.

The tall-- way too tall, extremely tall-- man quickly dried his face with hands covered by his dark sweater. It didn’t really help his case, it only made him look incredibly vulnerable and Ryan wondered if he was still in his bed, dreaming some sort of strange romantic scenario that would end in the most ridiculous porno his brain could have made up.

He had been very drunk when he came home after all, and it wouldn’t be the first time. Especially when it came to this guy in particular, Tall Hot And Unbothered from 17E upstairs.

Ryan blinked, watching as the guy swallowed and looked down before returning his eyes to his face.

“Allergies.” He excused, Ryan lifted an eyebrow knowing that wasn’t the case.

Allergies was in his room, making himself comfortable in his bed as Ryan tried his best not to show just how infatuated with this man he was.

“I’m just… I’m looking for my cat. He is an orange tabby, has a black collar with a green bell in the shape of an alien head, have you seen him?”

Bless that little fucker.

* * *

The first time Ryan saw Tall Hot And Unbothered, the guy had been on the phone and had just passed Ryan in the lobby of their building, giving him no mind. Not a glance, nothing. But it had left him starstruck since the beginning.

Nolan, the guy at the desk, had given him A Look after he had asked for a name and more information on the tall man, but he had been a new tenant and Nolan hadn’t had a chance to talk to him just yet. 

It wasn’t until the third time he asked in as many days that Ryan realized desk guy Nolan thought him a creep, and so he desisted.

Still, he couldn’t help himself and the smile on his lips every time they saw each other in the elevator. Tall Hot And Unbothered was polite as hell but still didn’t mind him. Their little dance of  _ good morning _ and  _ good night _ wasn’t enough, but damn if Ryan wasn’t the worst at talking to people unless someone else introduced him to them, let alone at flirting.

And so, four months had passed and now, Tall Hot and Unbothered was at his door, asking for the orange menace sleeping in his bed.

* * *

Maybe Ryan should had noticed that the damn cat started to appear in his balcony, fucking up pots and meowing at ridiculous hours of the early morning, at the same time Tall Hot And Unbothered moved to the building.

Looking at him now, he was more like Tall Hot And  _ Cute _ , which was the  worst possible combination because then his brain would malfunction forever in the presence of this man.

“Obi!” He said, taking the cat from Ryan’s arms and cuddling him to his chest. The cat meowed, looking at Ryan with what he tried not to identify as  _ betrayal _ . “You’re such a fucking asshole, how dare you?”

_ Jesus _ . Ryan chuckled, seeing the man standing in his living room holding his cat. The damn thing didn’t seem bothered at all, it kept glancing over at Ryan with shining eyes and if he woke up dead by clawing, it wouldn’t be a surprise.

At least his ghost knew where to find the irresponsible owner of such a furry little bitch.

Tall Hot And Cute looked at him, and Ryan felt a knot in his throat, unable to talk or move. Maybe he had swallowed his tongue.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know, and I was so worried--” He said way too fast. 

Ryan frowned as his head started to pound, suddenly aware of how drunk he had been and how late at night, or early in the morning it was. 

“He hasn’t come in days, he must have been such a bother--”

“What? Days? No, he was just…” His eyes opened wide. “Oh.” Ryan swallowed. “Well, I mean… I didn’t realize he had been staying. I think.”

The man frowned, carrying the cat like if he was a baby. Ryan licked his lips, looking down at himself to remember that hey, he was in his pink boxers with strawberry patterns. Excellent.

“Thank you for having him over.”

“Uh,” Ryan looked up, smiling alike when he noticed Tall Hot And Cute happily smiling at him. He no longer looked dead inside, which was good. He really was good looking. “It’s alright, at least now I know who to call when he keeps eating my plants and knocking them off the balcony”.

His expression changed, eyes wide open as he looked towards the balcony, then to the cat.

“Dude!” He said, the cat meowed angry at his owner and all Ryan could do was laugh at the image. “What the hell? Oh, my God. I’m so sorry!” Tall Hot And Cute looked at him. “Shit, how much do I owe you?”

“I don’t know…” He swallowed. “I haven’t replaced shit, so… It’s okay, really.”

“Fuck…” The man frowned, looking down at his cat who was looking very Not Okay in this situation. “Well, when you do, hit me up with the bill. I’m in the 17E.” He said and Ryan had to bite his tongue not to answer,  _ I know _ .

Maybe desk guy Nolan was right.

“Sure, man. It’s fine.” He shrugged. “Uhm, I’m-- I’m Ryan.”

“Oh.” He seemed to notice they hadn’t introduced each other, and smiled at him. “Shane.” He said, sighing while moving the cat to show it to him. “And Obi.”

“Great,” Ryan chuckled. “Now at least I have a name for him, the orange menace is too long.”

“The orrrrghhh--” He laughed, it echoed in the room as it did in Ryan’s head and he couldn’t help but smile, seeing Shane’s eyes turn into half moons and his cheeks turning red. He could get used to this. “Uhm,” Shane smiled at him, Ryan tilted his head to one side. “Well, I… should let you sleep. I’m very sorry again, I know this was… uncalled for.”

“A little bizarre.” He admitted, gesturing with his hand. “But it’s okay. Uhm…”

“Good night, Ryan. Thanks again.”

He nodded, following Shane’s steps towards his door and watching as the man walked out of his apartment. They smiled at each other, and when the taller guy looked at him one last time and Ryan sighed, debating between watching him get on the elevator or just closing his door and screaming into his pillow.

But a sudden strike of bravery made him ask, “Hey, Shane?”

“Uh?” The man looked back, walking backwards towards the elevator.

Ryan smiled at the sight. “You want to come over later? We can have a beer, watch a movie…”

The man stopped, blinking before answering with a neutral expression. “Sure.”

“Great!” He swallowed, hands sweating as he tried to look chill. “Around four is okay?”

“Yeah, that would be fine.” He smiled, giving Ryan his back again. The cat meowed. “Good night!”

“Good night, guys!”

Ryan watched as they got into the elevator, Obi meowing again as Shane smiled at Ryan, the door closing before he could see him smile back.

Maybe the cat wasn’t so bad after all.

*******

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for reading! Maybe I'll see you on [my tumblr](http://wetookanoath.tumblr.com/)? Have a good day!


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